Bringing Toys into the Relationship

A partner may want to introduce a sex toy into the relationship for a number of reasons, and some reasons are better received than others. Unless she knows his turn on’s very well, I would warn against a woman surprising him with an oversized life-like penis dildo—he’s likely to feel that’s he’s been inadequate and that he’s being replaced. Ladies, even if you feel like you need a little more something to get you over the peek, there are tactful ways to do it. And likewise guys, if you’re the one who wants to add a little spice to the bedroom, be considerate of what she can accommodate and desires. Just because something is fun to watch, doesn’t mean that it feels great.

It’s been well understood that properly placed vibrations can often-times bring on orgasm more easily than traditional thrusting. Vibrations can bring on an orgasm just as well as, if not better than, a thrusting penis. Some take issue with the artificial nature of vibrators. Here’s my take on it: Look at the fruits of it—whether it’s interfering with your relationship intimacy, or enhancing your intimacy. Using a large, lifelike, rubberized penis may be threatening to your husband, whereas a Hitachi Magic Wand may not be.

We use a whole host of modern enhancements to make our lives better: medicines, cars, phones, power tools, etc. So it’s not much of a leap to allow us to use power tools to bring us pleasure. If we can use power tools to make assembling a bed easier, then why not use similar power tools to enjoy activities in said bed?

There are so many sex toys out there, and between the time I write this and you read it, hundreds more will have hit the market. There are some basic categories of toys, which are listed in the table at right. Most toys are for women because, until recently, it’s been technically challenging to create something that compares to a vagina or a hand.