Thinking of Upsizing?

Having a presence on Facebook means that I get unexpected messages from gentlemen in places such us Lebanon, Pakistan, Sudan, and Malaysia. The questions are often bluntly sincere, but demonstrate a poor understanding of sex and of female desire. A recent question was “Hello. Know hw to enlarg penis?” Forgiving the spelling, I decided to briefly educate.

I’ve discovered all sorts of myths around the world about how to enlarge a penis. This man was looking for a food that he could eat which would increase his length and girth. Despite what he’d been told, I informed him that tuna and sweet potatoes do not work. I also told him that while over-the-counter pills such as Vigrx, Extenze, Enzyte may enhance libido and erections, they will not change the size of his penis. The only method that has any evidence to indicate that it works* is mechanical enlargement—whether it be surgery, penis pumps, or jelqing. And in almost every case, I highly discourage all of it.

Surgery involves cutting the suspensory ligament above the penis, which allows it to swing out and down–just a little. It doesn’t make the penis larger, just allows it to step forward a bit, and this comes with big downsides. Fat can also be implanted from another part of the body to give the penis more girth, but this risks losing sensitivity and rarely looks cosmetically pleasing. Penis pumps can give a temporarily enlargement while the elastic ring is tight around the base, but once the ring is released, the engorging blood leaves the penis, and it returns to its natural size.

Apart from surgery, the only method that has shown any prolonged benefit is jelqing. And by benefit, I mean maybe a half inch in length. (*If you consider an extra half-inch a worthwhile addition, then I guess you can say that jelqing “works”.) Jelqing involves a series of daily stretching exercises on a partially erect penis. The stretching slowly breaks down the tissues, then the healing process rebuilds them longer and larger, similar to how weightlifting in the gym breaks down muscle fibers and then rebuilds them bigger. Jelqing is a long, slow process with minimal benefit and significant risks if done wrong. But this doesn’t stop the internet from promoting the technique and a variety mechanical contraptions to automate the process.

When someone wants to discuss penis enlargement, I start by asking, “why would you want to?” I have yet to hear a good enough reason for me to prescribe jelqing or any possible enlargement technique. I reminding them that the average penis size is much smaller than what they may have seen in porn and that a woman’s sexual satisfaction has very little to do with her partner’s penis size. In addition to whatever phallic attributes he brings to the bed, he has 10 fingers, a mouth, and toys. This should be supplemented by arousing words, kind acts, generous gifts, and patient listening. Any of which is much more effective in bed than an 7% increase in length.

So guys, which is easier and more rewarding?

• A year of daily jelqing to gain a half-inch, or

• Taking 10 minutes to walk the trash down to the curb?

I know which one turns me on more, and so does my husband.