Let's Celebrate National Masturbation Month!

Depending on the survey that you review, about 95% of men admit to masturbating, and 85% of women. But societal perspectives of masturbation still seem to be rather mixed. Unfortunately, there is even stigma and many myths around engaging in this pleasurable act.

I'm sure that you have heard of these and more:

• masturbation causes blindness

• it makes hair grow on your hands

• it causes insanity

• masturbation can make sexual organs fall off

• masturbation causes infertility

• the Bible says it's wrong

Well, the first several are just inherently ridiculous and there has been no scientific evidence to prove any of it. They all sound like scare tactics that might have a religious origin.

Let's dissect the religious perspective. What exactly is the condemnation of masturabtion based upon in the Bible? It's just one scripture, in Genesis, chapter 38, verses 8-10:

Clearly, there is no mention of masturbation (the stimulation of one's genitals for sexual pleasure). Many people take parts of the chapter out of context and then it's misinterpreted to assert that masturbation should be condemned.

The correct meaning of the passage (if one actually studies the entire chapter and surrounding chapters), is that Onan was resisting the custom at the time: providing offspring for his deceased brother, by impregnating his widow. His "wasting of semen" was not about receiving any self pleasure, it was about his being disobedient to God.

Besides, if we are to be religiously literal, we (humans) are created in God's image. We are biologically complex. We have neurotransmitters and other physiological forces that create pleasure sensations. I personally do not believe that was accidental. With that level of complexity, why would we not be allowed to use our senses and pleasure centers?

So besides the "oooooo-ahhhhhh" reasons to masturbate, it is really healthy for you!

• For women, masturbation can help prevent cervical infections and urinary tract infections through the process of “tenting,” or the opening of the cervix that occurs as part of the arousal process. This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out.

• Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes, reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release, and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm.

• For men, masturbation helps reduce risk of prostate cancer, likely by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing cells.

• Masturbation also improves the immune system by increasing cortisol levels, which can regulate immune functioning in small doses.

• It also reduces depression by increasing the amount of endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin in the bloodstream.

• Masturbation (or the orgasm following) can help you sleep better because of the release of prolactin in the bloodstream.

• You burn about 6 calories a minute. The average "session" is 10-15 minutes, so you burn about 60-90 calories per session.

• Masturbation can also indirectly prevent infertility by protecting people from sexually transmitted infections.

• There is one final benefit to masturbation: it’s the most convenient method for maximising orgasms.

• Masturbation can help lower blood pressure.

• It can help improve self-esteem (you become more comfortable with yourself).

• Masturbation can help reduce pain because of the natural painkillers released into the bloodstream, endorphins.

May is National Masturbation Month! So grab yourself some Uberlube and....

Fist your mister...loop the mule...trip the switch...glide the lily...test the battery...burp the worm...get a grip on things...tame the shrew...sing in the shower...part the red sea...polish the pearl...grease the pole...stroke your boy...diddle the skittle...unbutton the fur coat...tutor the pupil...make some soup!